Archived News: Page 3
Wipe all night and one-shot the next day. That's the <illest> way!
We had a stamping good time on this boss, despite wiping over and over at the end of the fight as soon as we got to the new patterns at 10%. Luckily, after we spent a few pulls learn—wait, what's that? The patterns are the same as the rest of the fight? Well, it was still pretty difficult because of the moving ground. Once we had that figur—what? The ground isn't moving any more there? Uh...
Well, we killed it at least. Go team!
I was not here for the kill, so I commissioned our first ever guild Mad Libs to fill in this post for me. What follows are actual answers from guild members who knew nothing about the final story:
Gee wiz guys! After a staggering 1 pull over 2,677 raid nights, we finally managed to spelunk Oregorger, and we could not be more angry. What is Oregorger, you ask? Well, allow me to explain...
Oregorger is a dicklicious beast that inhabits the human skin mines deep beneath candyland. He is mammoth in size, over 19 feet tall and weighing in at 13 pounds. This fabulous creature can eat a whole panda in a single bite, and has a mean streak to boot! When engaged in combat, Oregorger spits corrosive sody pop at his foes. Ariana learned this the hard way, as he melted faster than the Wicked Witch of the West!
But that isn't even the worst part; when Oregorger is happy, he'll let you know by deli slicing around the room at over 420 miles per hour! You need to be quick on your boner to avoid him, or you will be crushed flat as a pepperoni log! Unfortunately for us, Norvet was slower than an antelope on molly. He was flattened no less than 69 times.
I only wish our enormous leader Syrio was there to witness our moment of triumph. Unfortunately, he was on a 42-day business trip to Uganda, but I guess that's the life of a stripper.